Cavia
We begin with health food for your feet. These look like I made them, and I don't even know how to do ... whatever that is.
Dries Van Noten
You can also wear artificial turf. God, I hope it's artificial.
Robert Wun
PERFECT for if you have one very long toenail.
Zomer
What colorful foot macaroni.
Louis Vuitton
Got a lot of souvenir pins lying around? Here's a solution.
Uma Wang
The part that speaks to me the most is the Band-Aid on the model's pinky.
Valentino
It's not necessarily the shoe; it's... ALL OF IT.
Thom Browne
Save space in your suitcase by buying shoes that work as a hairbrush.
Toga
This is a very hastily constructed weapon.
Simone Rocha
DELIVER ME.
Septwolves
Secretly, I am not mad at these.
Ottolinger
Unsecretly, I am extremely mad at these, and I bet the model was too.
Rave Review
This is a terrible use of friendship bracelets.
Ottolinger
This looks almost medical.
Ottolinger
This basically IS a compression sock that's holding the sole onto her foot. Ugh.
Miu Miu
Okay, I just realized I need one of those little sock rings to protect the top of my foot when I'm wearing some of my sneakers without socks.
Natasha Zinko
No.
Lacoste
NO.
Ferragamo
JUST NO.
Lacoste
Also I am not on board with jelly shoes unless you are in elementary school.
Mark Fast
These do not speak to me.
Hui
CURVEBALL: These are cute. I lightboxed them before I decided to make this all hideous shoes, and forgot it was in here. Jessica should own these.
Kei Ninomiya
When my feet get to this point, yes, I will bejewel them. I'm probably not that far off, honestly.
Kiko Kostadinov
So... part Wellington, part brogue?
Florania
So... are these stretchy socks pulled on OVER shoes?
Coperni
I SEE YOU, TOE POCKETS.
Dior
These just seem so un-Dior to me.
Ferragamo
Wigs for your feet are so hot right now.
Collina Strada
I see that Ugg logo on there. Ugg is really pushing it.
Collina Strada
A SUMMER version?!?
Chloe
How I Spent My Summer Holidays.
Chloe
Say it with me: CHLOE IS A MENACE.
Bottega Veneta
These just seem like a pain to keep on your feet.
Calcaterra
What am I even looking at?
Balmain
Okay, fine, the lipstick heel is kitchy and cute. I am not sure why the rest of it looks like the leather is flaking off.
Beretta
It feels like there's always one with the misplaced heel.
Avavav
FOUR toes. Okay. Obviously they're just strapped over the top of normal shoes, but the four toes adds a special level of creepiness.
Avavav
These remind me of some Steve Madden shoes I had in, oh, 2002? But these are weirder.
Acne
It's like someone embellished an Isotoner and then jammed a pencil up in it.
The Attico
Why do SO many of these look like craft projects?
Alabama Muse
These are from backstage, although if I told you someone sent them down the runway, you probably wouldn't be surprised. At least SOMEONE gave these women a foot spa.