Wrapping up Cannes 2018

Cate Blanchett in McQueen

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - 'The Man Who Killed Don Quixote' - Photocall Featuring: Cate Blanchett Where: Cannes, France When: 19 May 2018 Credit: IPA/WENN.com **Only available for publication in UK, USA, Germany, Austria, Switzerland**

Why do her boobs have eyelids? This could have been so much more effective if the front were all black, or had red piping of some ilk, and nothing else until she turned around...

... at which point you'd see All The Business. This is so amusingly, Cannes-ly dramatic. She looks like a snow angel mixed with The Mark of the Beast.

in Givenchy

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - 'Capernaum' - Premiere Featuring: Cate Blanchett Where: Cannes, France When: 17 May 2018 Credit: IPA/WENN.com **Only available for publication in UK, USA, Germany, Austria, Switzerland**

I guess Cate was REALLY in a mood for fabric baggage this past weekend. Mercifully she can carry all that very well, alhough I might've stopped short of the lone lacy streamer unfurling toward the ground. If that thing gets caught on a heel, a doorknob, or anything sharp, it could all unravel.

This also suffers somewhat from behind.

Lea Seydoux (in Vuitton) and Kristen Stewart (in Chanel)

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - Closing Ceremony Featuring: Lea Seydoux, Kristen Stewart Where: Cannes, France When: 19 May 2018 Credit: Euan Cherry/WENN

Lea looks like the lady with the actual GOOD fairy godmother, and Kristen looks like the one who found one on Yelp! who had five-star reviews, but it turns out most of them were written by her cousins for cash.

with Ava DuVernay in Stella

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - Closing Ceremony Featuring: Ava DuVernay, Lea Seydoux, Kristen Stewart Where: Cannes, France When: 19 May 2018 Credit: Euan Cherry/WENN

"Psst. Ava. Did you not get our text about the slits?"

Kristen in Chanel

71st annual Cannes Film Festival - Knife + Heart - Premiere Featuring: Kristen Stewart Where: Cannes, France When: 17 May 2018 Credit: Franck Castel/ News Pictures/WENN.com **Only available for publication in UK, USA, China, Japan, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Australia, South Africa, Argentina)**

I have notes. One of which is that this looks like her sequin pants have a control top panel, and another of which is that I cannot IMAGINE wanting to watch a movie through that

Khadja Nin

As usual, she is cool as hell.

Olga Kurylenko in Dior

Mandatory Credit: Photo by REX/Shutterstock (9685933bp) Olga Kurylenko, Adam Driver, Terry Gilliam Closing Award Ceremony, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 19 May 2018

I rather like that skirt on Olga, but the bodice is tiiiiiiiiiight. What if she can't raise her hand?

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/REX/Shutterstock (9683214dc) Olga Kurylenko and Terry Gilliam 'The Man Who Killed Don Quixote' premiere and closing ceremony, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 19 May 2018

Oh, well, phew. (I also want to know about the dress ahead of her and to the right. The one on the left is coming later.)

Vanessa Paradis in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock (9682251s) Vanessa Paradis 'Knife and Heart' premiere, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 17 May 2018

Stunning.

Alessandra Ambrosio in Zuhair Murad

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Simone Comi/IPA/REX/Shutterstock (9685888e) Alessandra Ambrosio 'The Wild Pear Tree' premiere, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 18 May 2018 WEARING ZUHAIR MURAD SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL *9328022df

This is gorgeous, and I know without the sleeves it would seem more basic, but I AM really basic and thus I would remove them.

Lara Lieto in Georges Hobeika

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Simone Comi/IPA/REX/Shutterstock (9685968bb) Lara Lieto Closing Award Ceremony, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 19 May 2018 WEARING GEORGES HOBEIKA

This whole show had so much to love; I truly think this was one of the least of them. It's pretty, but it's a bathing suit and a coverup, essentially, and so save it for when you are on a yacht.

Asia Argento

Fun fact: Those are her own hair clippings hanging off the hem. Fun fact: I made that other fun fact up, but it seems feasible.

Hofit Golan in Jean Fares

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/REX/Shutterstock (9685915ba) Hofit Golan Closing Award Ceremony, Arrivals, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 19 May 2018 WEARING JEAN FARES COUTURE

Who needs a neck anyway.

Laura Harrier in LV

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/REX/Shutterstock (9685915bj) Laura Harrier Closing Award Ceremony, Arrivals, 71st Cannes Film Festival, France - 19 May 2018 WEARING LOUIS VUITTON

Perfectly pretty and youthful, and then we get to TOTALLY grandmotherly shoes. Wear them if you like, but this dress cries out for something way more fun.

Rossy De Palma

"DID SOMEONE SAY FUN???"