Miley Cyrus

This is MAJESTICALLY CRAZY. It is merely illusion-netting and formal electrical tape! It is, quite literally, NOT TECHNICALLY EVEN A TOP!

Miley Cyrus

But her face looks good, if you can block out literally everything else around it. This is why I don't worry about Miley (other than about whether or not she will ever get sick of being the Shock Jock of the red carpet) . She never looks out of it. DEEPLY F'ING WACKY, yes, and intentionally WAY CRACKBALLS, but she also always looks like she 100% knows what she's up to, which is primarily f'ing with people to get a rise/being intentionally extremely ridiculous. Do I think she looks GOOD from the neck down? NO I DO NOT. But I also feel great GLEE in how HORRIBLE THIS IS . It's CLASSIC HORRIBLE.

Miley Cyrus

DUDE. It's like The Fifth Element goes black tie. Also, not for nothing, but that skirt is such that she looks like she's just a floating torso. Which at least is Halloween appropriate?

Miley and Trish Cyrus

What better date for an evening where your nipple is probably going to weasel its way to freedom than your Mom, after all? OH MILEY.

What The Fug: Miley Cyrus in Tom Ford at amfAR Inspiration LA Gala

I literally laughed out loud when I saw this. I feel like Miley saw Alan Cumming in Cabaret recently and woke up inspired to willkommen us into her abs. Or she's got Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time" video on repeat over her bed. OR BOTH. (Parenthetically -- literally -- it was announced yesterday that she's the new Viva Glam spokesperson, so it is apt that she's at this event, which is for amfAR.) Lucky, Tom Ford was there to indulge her crazy insanity. [Photos: Getty]