1973 - Johnny Whitaker
We start with the 13-year old star of the musical Tom Sawyer that came out this year. Jodie Foster is in it as Becky Thatcher, and I have to think she would have been a better cover? Given that Johnny is wearing this shirt on the album cover, I'm guessing this is a still from the movie itself and not a special photo shoot, but they sure did him no favors with what they picked. He looks like he's grappling with the private pain of hay fever.
1981
Is this young miss wearing... a raccoon tail in her hair?
1982 - Brooke Shields
I hope that blouse is pre-makeover.
1983
It's August. Unless this was shot in the Southern Hemisphere, yellow gloves and a scarf feel like extreme choices.
1984
At first I read those cover lines as one story -- "The Secret of Michael Jackson: Are You Jealous? How To Cope." Any story involving Michael Jackson has probably not aged well, sadly.
1985
This is so delightfully 80s. I love it.
May 1986
But THIS. I was in 4th grade and this is basically exactly the look I wanted, because I thought would make me cool. (My mom was correct not to let me cut bangs.) Look at all those SHAPES and SQUIGGLY LINES. On covers as in jewelry and interior design, I guess. And the Lowes on there are sublime.
1986
I would argue that your sister's abortion is your SISTER'S story, young lady, but you do you.
1987
PINK. DENIM. (Also, "How To Let Him Know You're Alive" feels like an editor read her child's diary and thought, "Oooh, great, I can use this.")
1988
Carrie Bradshaw would have loved this.
1990
I wonder how many of the forthcoming covers were separate shoots, and which were PR handouts. (Much like: Did Madonna TALK to YM, or did YM put together a story based on things Madonna said to other publications?) This one has potential to have been its own thing...
1992
... but this feels like a shot I've seen before somewhere and makes me think it's from the 90210 official stash. Also, Shannen looks gorgeous here. This was peak Brenda -- her best hair/eyebrows combo.
1993
My first reactin was, "Krissy Taylor could at least have merited a MENTION on this cover." Then I looked up their ages. Dan Cortese was 26. Krissy Taylor was FIFTEEN. What was YM doing?!? He is WAY TOO OLD to be suggestively hovering over a fifteen year old, and you know the YM readers knew exactly how old Krissy was because she was a HUGE freaking deal. Super gross, YM. Maybe THAT'S why they didn't put her name on it.
1994
I just realized that Kristen Stewart could do great work in The Edward Furlong Story. They have this same stare.
1995
I have to think "I'm a virgin but I'm pregnant" sold a LOT of copies. The twee good girl/bad girl thing they're doing here with Drew is boring and gross, but what else is new.
1996
This is from back when Jenny McCarthy was merely irritating, and not annoying and dangerous.
1997
This shot of the Spices is amazing. Posh looks SO DOUBTFUL.
1998
This outfit is SUCH a Peach Pit After Dark jam.
Feb 1999
WHO MADE THIS COVER DECISION? I assume it was an editor who had been ridiculed for being Team Ben, and was getting back at everyone by making Matt look as confused and absurd as possible. I wonder if they are even actually together in this photo, or if it's two pictures jammed together. Because Ben's jacket makes it look like he was sitting on a banquette with his arm stretched along it. Also, seriously, that expression on Matt's face looks like it came from a completely different photo of Matt Damon that was attached poorly. It's just... it's AMAZING. I hope Ben framed this for Matt and hung it in his bathroom.
1999 - 98 Degrees
THE OVERALLS. THE COME-HITHER STARES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK SUSPICIOUS. THAT RICKY MARTIN SHOT. THIS IS PERFECT.
April 1998
I assume Michelle here was about to ask, "Does that spotlight have to be so bright?"
July 2000
Obviously I couldn't resist this when I saw Justin Timberlake, but truly, they all look absurd. Lance looks like he's trying to hold them back because they all jumped too early.
August 2000
And now the actual August cover is Enrique, who would like very much to be your hero. Sigh. I also miss the days of magazines with posters you could stick up on the wall. Thanks to Smash Hits magazine, I had a lot of George Michael, which was true love.
2001
So many frosted tips in this photo. So, so many. And of course Justin pulling focus as best he can.
2001
The Internet told me this was also August 2001, so maybe the previous August one was an NSYNC special edition? Regardless, I hope one of you out there won Chris Isaak's undershirt.
2003 - Paris Hilton
"Actress" and "singer" and also actually "author" should all be in VERY eyeroll-y air quotes here. Do we think... we should know who TREVOR and DEREK were?
2004
That's a super cute photo of LiLo, but y'all, she was dating Wilmer Valderrama in 2004. She was not NOT getting guys. YM went out of business very shortly after this "OH HEY, IT'S THE NEW YM" cover, so sadly, I guess the true "new YM" was "an absent YM."
Some Random Spring Special
I also found this, and among many other things... do you need a quiz to know if you're psychic? Don't you already psychically know the answer?
