Abigail Cowan

We begin with Abigail, at the top of our alphabet. I NEVER thought I'd be so happy to see a mundane, misguided satin bra top and pants ensemble. WELCOME BACK, MIDRIFFS!

Alexandra Shipp

Welcome back, wide-legged pants! You're massive! At this point, why aren't you just a skirt?

Anna Cathcart

I wish I had liked "XO, Kitty." I tried! And she also tried, with these long shorts. They ARE shorts, right?

Anna Sitar in Michael Kors

This is a fancy bathing suit with a blazer and I refuse to hear otherwise, MR. KORS.

Ariana Greenblatt in Harbison

Buttons down the front can often bedevil a person. They usually end up askew. The whole cut of this dress in general is a question mark for me, particularly the satin bra portion.

Armani Jackson

He looks crisp and cute. He was one of the better performers on Wolf Pack, so I hope he lands somewhere decent.

Armen Nahapetian

CORRECT, SIR. I cannot argue with this.

Ava Capri

I CAN argue with this, and I AM, VIGOROUSLY. GAFFER TAPE IS NOT A SHIRT.

Brec Bassinger

She was the CW's Stargirl. She looks kind of like she's going to a high-school dance.

Bretman Rock

I feel like this is a few centimeters here and there away from being great.

Bruna Marquezine in Tory Burch

The skirt here feels sort of similar in cut, if not in look, to Ariana Greenblatt's. But it's cooler.

Charly Jordan

No no, you hope there IS a gift bag, you don't come dressed AS a gift bag.

Carter Gregory

That's very snazzy.

Darren Barnet

This is also very slick.

Demi Singleton in Louis Vuitton

This is good styling! It's just jeans but comes off as having a lot of panache. I can barely believe it's Vuitton.

Dermot Mulroney

And who else would be there but Noted Young Hollywood Member Dermot Mulroney.

Dylan Mulvaney in Stella McCartney

This doesn't come off as on-trend baggy, so much as just... big.

Franklin Jonas

I'm glad Frankie Jonas has his own gig going now, on "Claim to Fame," but... he seems like kind of a lot. Too much.

GAYLE

Fresh off opening for Taylor Swift, GAYLE is now a cautionary tale about buying pants on clearance and assuming they'll shrink in the wash.

Grace Bowers

Look at that curl formation!

Jack Martin

He did not have that weird center-bang the whole night on the red carpet. I can't tell if he added it, or if he brushed it aside because he realized it looked crazy.

Julia Lester

She looks like she's arguing for a revival of The Craft.

Leah Kate

UNSPORTSMANLIKE NYLON. 15 YARDS AND A LOSS OF DOWN.

Lexi Underwood

And of course we have a minor foul for some translucent pants.

Maddie Ziegler in Alberta Ferretti

FINALLY, a reasonable set of trousers.

Madison Bailey

I will never be into the footwear situation, but the rest feels quite badass.

Nia Sioux

Well, it's... breezy?

Noah Schapp

Delighted to see his boots. He looks great.

Poppy

I mean, I guess if you don't want to deal with the passed apps, then okay.

Rachel Sennott in Dion Lee

She LOVES skirts that are too short. Like, to the point that they look like they shrank. She definitely needs a stylist who brings in a vision.

Rain Spencer

This seems so sedate by comparison. An actual young person in a dress that isn't also a window!

Ramona Young

SHE is wearing a glorified Kleenex, but at least the purse is fun.

Renee Rapp in Stella McCartney

Meh.

Sabrina Carpenter in Attico

Is she in a Follies revue?

Samantha Hanratty

Good for her.

Saniyya Sidney

And yes, SHE is still ACING IT all over the place. No tennis pun intended. Well, not initially.

Skai Jackson in Naeem Khan

The tube top is sitting a hair low, right?

Sophie Nelisse

Young Shauna looks nice, and also a teeny bit witchy. Elegantly witchy.

Sophie Thatcher

So dramatic.

Steve Lacy in Saint Laurent

Covid IS on its way back, so I get it.

Sydney Sweeney in Alexander McQueen

Shrug. Well, it's fine, actually. It's definitely been worse. But it doesn't really feel like Star of the Party.

Xochitl Gomez in Dion Lee

Well, can't say it doesn't have storage space!

Xolo Mariduena in Balmain

I feel for him, not being able to promote Blue Beetle -- imagine getting cast in a big DC movie like that, even one that the DC brass may have already deemed irrelevant, and then not getting to enjoy the fruits of that labor. He's also on Cobra Kai, so he'll be okay, assuming he survives those pant legs.

Variety's Young Hollywood Bash Gave Us a Big Guest List and Some Bad Clothes

Just the way we like it!