It is with heavy hearts that we report the premature demise of The Return to Jordan Catalano.
Instead, we have a cocktail comprised of Max Headroom, Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw, and every douche you have ever seen at a country club.
Nice try, but it's not working. LUPITA WILL NOT LIKE THIS, SIR. In fact, I'd venture to say she'll give you a big ol' Nyong'NO. So finish up this role, if that's what it's for, and go back to the Dark Side. Our eyeballs will be grateful.
[Photos: Fame/Flynet]