"Hey! Hi, yeah. It's Katie. Hey! Yeah, I know we haven't talked since....that thing. Well, I feel like you kinda threw me under the bus with the New York Times! But that's not why I'm calling. I have a bunch of press to do because I guess I'm in an off-Broadway play now. And I need some styling. But listen -- and this is important. I MUST LOOK NORMAL. Reasonable. Professional!! I just know we can do it!"