Let's check in on Rihanna's performing exploits.
This is apparently fresh off the menswear runway. And it is... crazy. I can't fathom a dude wanting to look like a billboard for something the FDA has probably banned because of strange additives that are only legal in Asia -- much less in something that so easily passes as a dress on Rihanna. That she almost makes sense of it is a marvel. Don't get me wrong, I still find it hideous, but I understand it a lot more on her than, say, Justin Bieber. Then again, when did I ever speak Bieberish? I wonder if that's a working barcode on her thigh. If we scan her, what will it say? I'm thinking of every immature calculator message I ever tapped out when I was in fourth grade.
Oh, and in case you wondered...
... the VMAs didn't kill the art of public crotch massage. Between that and the stockings and the weirdo coat, she looks like Denise Huxtable if A Different World were about her becoming a masturbating hobo.
[Photo: WENN]