Step right up, friends, this event -- which has been only advertised on my TV as "check local listings;" never a great sign for an awards show when they're making you do your own research! -- has it all: A sheer curtain as a dress! Some powerful illusion netting work! Sweats that at least two people are pretending are real clothes! A possibly weaponized brassiere! Someone draping themselves in velvet! AND MORE.