Fug or Fab: Jordin Sparks

Jordin here is so lovely.

And thus I want better for her, I think, than a Bride of Hollywood gown that pinches and mangles her chest. Granted, in spite of all that she herself still looks cute and happy, but... man, I just keep wanting someone to send her left breast an apology letter.

Or maybe it was just the way she posed:

Now it's the other side getting the threat of numbness.

Jeepers, and now it's both? Is that sucker more a plaster cast than a dress? I wish someone had tested that out with her before she hit the red carpet, because it's a big night for her, and I'm sad that I spent this whole time so distracted by sympathy mammary pains.

[Photos: Getty]