The limp hair and makeup, and nonexistent styling, are sad enough here.
But seeing this limp Dynasty on Ice disaster only serves to remind me that there never will BE a Dynasty on Ice, and so the touching frozen pas de trois between Blake, Alexis, and Krystle that I've longed to see -- or the solo "Steven Discovers That His Tenderness Transcends Gender," much less the gripping Hate Candles interlude, starring Claudia Blaisdel and her lighter of rage -- will never be a reality. So now I'm uncaptivated AND flat-out bummed.
[Photo: Getty]