My Cousin Fug

There is a rumor that Marisa Tomei is pregnant, and while she says no, I feel like she needs SOME KIND of excuse for this dress:

Here are some suggestions:

1. "I ate an entire pizza for dinner and it was DELICIOUS. But now I am bloated."
2. "Joe Pesci finally collected on that bet."
3. "I'm working on a line of my own clothing, called Bedsheet Bombshells, and this is the first prototype. We've got some work to do still."
4. "I am actually sleepwalking right now."
5. "Uh, on second thought, maybe I AM pregnant. Yeah. I am."
6. "I've developed a rare disorder where I break out in hives if anything touches my waist."
7. "Hello, May is National Caftan Month in honor of Bea Arthur's birthday on May 13th. You're welcome."