Did you remember that J.Lo wrote a deeply sincere and cringey song about Ben back when they dated the first time? Taylor Swift has it right: Don't get achingly specific if you can help it, because love songs are like misguided tattoos, except that J.Lo can't paper over "Dear Ben" and pretend it always said "Dean Bench" and was about her favorite headmaster. Maybe she was determined to close this loop so that history would call her clairvoyant. Behold:
I love you, you're perfect
A manifestation of my dreams
You make my body feel
About a million different things
I think God made you for me
A mix of passionate fidelities
Baby, you're so complete
I write this song to let you know
That you will always be to me
My lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend, and my king
I love you, you're perfect
A manifestation of my dreams
You make my body feel
About a million different things
There's no way I'd leave you
It's just not a reality
Sometimes I feel like I'm
Living in a fantasy
Is there anything LESS sexy than writing a song about how hot you are for your partner, and within it calling him "my child"? I think not.