This is Jessica Alba on her way to GMA, and it's she looks SO cute, and it's going so well... ... until we get to the aluminum clodhoppers. They take this whole thing from Breezy Day Dress straight to I Just Woke Up In My Prom Limo
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Our photo service described this look as "magnificent," and I kept thinking about that Seinfeld where someone describes a hideous baby as "breathtaking" and Elaine can't parse whether or not it's an insult when the same person also calls her breathtaking. Because
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It's time for me to deploy my favorite opener to one these things, and, as I always do, I really mean it this time: Her head looks FANTASTIC. I love you, Glenn Close. I love you as that HBIC Patty Hewes on Damages and I never take off
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Let's start in my happy place. I thought this was going to be SO CUTE when I saw this. The pattern and colors are so fun, and her makeup artist did another really good job. No matter how much stuff they decorate her with, it never overwhelms her
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This dress is freaking me out a little. Her head looks great, the color is nice on her, and it MIGHT have been fine with adjustments... ... but the belt is freaking me out, in part because I can't actually TELL if it is a belt. I don'
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I feel like Zoe Saldana read what I said about Lupita wearing a shower cap to the White House Correspondents' Dinner and just laughed and laughed and laughed: "You want to see someone wearing a shower cap as a dress? I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT FOR YOU."
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We just checked in with Mischa Barton; now let's see what her erstwhile O.C. co-star is up to: The answer is, "Turning a Ralph Lauren duvet cover from Macy's into a frame for some polterwang." [Photo: Getty]
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Usually, an outfit is felled by its LACK of pants: But this one, unfortunately, has fallen victim to supreme overconfidence in them. She is a beautiful, ageless lady, and those pants are at least sixty-five and well on their way to collecting Social Security. And if the Everest-size
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Actually, I'll be honest, this is really more of a roller-coaster -- down then up then down then up: She whiffed the lipstick but I LOVE the blazer; don't like the vaginal eruption but those shoes are great. She has, with one outfit, encapsulated the whiplash
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There is something so delicately lovely about this: And then you start looking closer at the skirt, and you realize that YET AGAIN we're being taken for a ride by a Granny Pants Bandit, and it's like, SIGH, can't something else mug us for
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This is the most epic scrolldown fug, and it's so wretched that I am going to start at the bottom and work up: WHAT. These are shoes that are answering a question no one asked, namely, "what would happen if your shower shoes had a baby with
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If this had kept going as it began, I might be swooning. Instead, it tapered off into the color of the water in an overused mop bucket, like it lost interest in being alive. YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED ALIVE, GOWN. I WOULD HAVE FOUND YOU. [Photo: Getty]
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Amy should never have posed near a photo of how slammin' she looks in the actual movie, because her outfit is basically the easiest scrolldown fug ever to be labeled thus. Workable cocktail dress up top, lambskin condom on the bottom. [Photo: Getty]
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I don't understand this hair on her. She looks like a different person, which is a problem considering that a lot of people don't know what she looks like to begin with and have only experienced her as The Human Showgirls Poster. Seriously, that hair adds
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View the gallery I wish I got a dollar every time I used the following words: Well, she looks great from the neck up. [Photos: Getty]
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