As a person who watches almost any reality show you've got on offer -- although, weirdly, not Keeping Up With The Kardashians and not because I'm so principled, I truly TRULY do not know how I didn't fall into the hole -- I feel like I've been training to write this post for many moons now. (And when I say "any," I mean it. I'm watching the Southern Charm spin-off right now. Listen, it'll never be season one of Vanderpump Rules!)